I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
