So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
