do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize