Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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