OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
