I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
