Reggie can tackle my bush.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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