so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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