I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
