so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
