Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
