If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Pooping to opera.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
