It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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