I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
