Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
