Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He felt like a one man threesome
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Be still, my beating vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
