dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
