I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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