Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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