Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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