Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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