What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
