yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
