they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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