yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
