what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
