he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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