We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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