Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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