somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
