just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
