I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
