I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
