yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
