I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
