I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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