He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize