Pants 0. Shit 1.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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