Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
