He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
