how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
