Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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