p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
