It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
