lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
