Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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