I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
