careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
