he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
