Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
