booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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