I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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