So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
