I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
