4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize