If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
