She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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