At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
