come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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