Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
