Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
