i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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