at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
