It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize