I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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