I wish I could punch you in the face.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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