32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
