I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
