absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
