well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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